My friend....

My friend Bobby passed a little over a week ago...... Bobby was one of the sweetest people that you could know. When you had a talk with him, he just reminded me of that old cat from down the block.

 

The first time I met Bobby, I had come out of my apartment and was going to check my mail. There was a man standing there who obviously heard me come out of my door because he turned to me. He was a black, older man with some thick glasses. I smiled and said hello and we introduced ourselves....At that moment I didn't know he had glaucoma and was partially blind. He put his hand out and as we shook hands he told me that he couldn't see clearly......as I took his hand, I figured out that he was also missing all of his fingers on his hand.

It's funny. I don't think I've ever remembered ever detail of meeting someone in my life. Bobby, John and Jacob share in the "every detail of a meeting" in my brain. It's for those 3three only.

Bobby and I hung out EVERY SINGLE day from that day forward. (ok....sometimes I went out of town but besides those times...we hung out every day) Bobby loved baseball. I have never been a sports fan but we would listen to the games on the front steps or in his apartment. We'd "get our heads bad".....occasionally have a drink and sometimes just jam out to some music.





When Jacob was born, Bobby gave Jacob his nickname, "Sweet pea"..... For the first 6 month of Jacobs life Bobby and Vanessa were some of the main people in his life.

We moved from Maplewood before Jacob turned one and we would go over and hang out from time to time. As time went by, the visits grew further apart but we would still talk on the phone. When we moved out to the country, we tried to talk Bobby into coming out and staying the weekend with us...."Ha! I watch 'In the Heat of the Night" Bobby would say...... He never did come out.

The last time I saw my friend, he could no longer see me at all. This made me sad.... I knew that his vision was never clear but he could always at least see shapes....now he was truly blind. When we left from our short visit I told him that I loved him and gave him a hug....(Bobby liked hugs from girls with big boobies....hahahaha)

My last visit was nearly a year ago.......and I still can't help but kick myself for not getting over there again........

I miss my friend. And I can't call him and tell him that I'm sorry for not being a better friend and being around more....

Bobby was removed from life support on Tuesday, September 11th and passed away on Saturday, September 15th......

I was angry. I know that taking people off of life support is a tough decision and I hope to God that I don't ever have to make it. But as he continued to fight for his life and people continued to say, "Its in Gods hands" after 48 hours and his vitals staying the same I started believing it wasn't in Gods hands but these people were killing my friend..... I'm not a doctor (maybe there was some medical reasoning behind it???) and not his wife And I wanted so bad to shout out.....YOUR STARVING HIM.....but I couldn't..And it's got me thinking.....

If God forbid, something happen to John..... I would have no say in anything. And that scares me....

I've had a tough day today with all of this.... I think part of grieving is anger.....and I think that's were I'm at today....I'm so angry....This too shall pass.